Misshapes, August 14, 2004
Originally uploaded by the management.
Dear Thomas,
As always, last weekend's Misshapes outing was a rousing success. There was enough sweat, tits, and good music to keep the management sated for a month. Yet thanks in part to your presence at the door, this dedicated, expletive-screaming, pogoing idiot (pictured above in red t-shirt) gets to go every week... for free. Do you know how truly appreciated your contribution to the management's nightlife is? Let's just say that your recent shout-out in Tricia Romano's Fly Life column is hardly adequate. You are a fine human being; fair, evenhanded, and utterly merciless in the face of the loafers-with-no-socks Eurotrash that gives you endless shit about not letting them in for free even though they are clearly not on the list and a have a shitty attitude. How do you do it? The management wishes to express its thanks and admiration.
There is just one more thing: the management and MTC are dying to do a tag-team DJ set at Misshapes, but we still haven't met the promoters. We're good enough, we're smart enough, and doggone it, people like us. Once I drop Gang of Four's "Damaged Goods," those kids will be eating out of the palm of my hand. I swear to god, we will do you proud and the night's promoters will think to themselves, "Jesus Christ, is there anything Thomas can't do? He rules the door like a velvet glove cast in iron, and his friends just played the most amazing set in the history of this club."
It's time to make it happen, Thomas. It is time to seize our destiny.
Many thanks, and continued good fortune.
Sincerely,
The Management
WE NOW RETURN YOU TO NORMAL BLOG PROGRAMMING
Lordy, lordy, there is so much to cover today. Feast or famine, people. Feast. Or. Famine.
How is it that this Village Voice essay on big asses on white women went unnoticed?? More importantly, how is it that two VV links made it into this post? Delicious white junk-in-the-trunk action has finally come into its own, and we need to gather together to ensure that this "trend" never goes away. Magnificent booty knows no race or creed. It is, in fact, a testament to the unity, to the the inherent oneness of all humankind. Fine booty is the lifeblood of human brotherhood and advancement. Let us pray.
Having seen Alien vs. Predator just last night, it came as quite a surprise to read this morning that they are now in negotiations to reunite Freddy Krueger and Jason Vorhees for another go. Only this time, Ash, hero of Sam Raimi's Evil Dead films, will be thrown into the mix. That's right, it's Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash! Here are two more questionable ideas: 1) Marilyn Manson is releasing a greatest hits album, including a cover of Depeche Mode's "Personal Jesus." Now does anyone else think that the entire notion of "greatest hits" goes all haywire when applied to Mr. Manson? That's like a coffee-table book called Our Favorite Venereal Diseases or perhaps The Dick Cheney Guide to Business Ethics. It just doesn't track. 2) Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are apparently in talks with MTV to take over the Newlyweds show. Now I know this territory is adequately covered in Stereogum, but this is simply too much to ignore. Why do we want to see Britney and her sad, giant-shirt-wearing, Vanilla-Ice-looking, white trash piece of shit boyfriend argue about how much Spam should go into an omelette, how to spell "babydaddy," or how nice it is to be rich enough to buy the whole damn trailer park? Okay... that actually sounds pretty good. Never mind.
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